33 Things Every Christian College Freshman Should Know

This is my 4^th year working in college ministry. Therefore, I know everything. Just kidding. Therefore, this is the first time I have walked all the way through college with a class of girls.  

Every week for the last 4 years, we have sat on UT campus, or in my living room, studying scripture and sharing life together.

I have washed 39,485 water cups. We have eaten our weight in Nutella and hummus.

Average number of cups used after Small Group. Notice our fine china. 

We have cried a lot. Truthfully, tears is the 17^th member of our small group. And tears usually comes in waterfall formation – one girl starts to cry and then we all cry. Most of the time after we cry we get really silly. Like stupid silly. Like ‘I hope no one is recording us right now’ silly.  Then I usually say something inappropriate and they love it.

These women have blessed me more than I have blessed them.

Watching them graduate in May was much harder than I expected. I was a wreck. Crying at all the “lasts”. The last small group was brutal. But, I have to believe what I told them: “This is just the end of the beginning of knowing each other forever.”

A few small groups before the brutal emotional last small group, I asked them what advice they would give to an incoming college freshmen. In other words, if they could rewind the clock and talk to their terrified freshman self, what would they say? Words and thoughts immediately swirled around the room, and I could barely keep my pen writing fast enough.

Reading over their list, I see the footprints of wise women who have had many victories and failures these last 4 years. Women that will make incredible wives and mothers. Women I am proud to call my friends.

Some things they learned in our small group, but most just from living and walking with the Lord.

The funny thing is that almost all their advice applies to my life, my mother’s life, and every woman’s life. I love that about God. He is teaching us the same truths over and over and driving them deeper into our stubborn souls.

So here it is…I picked a nice round number…

33 Things Every Christian College Freshman Should Know:

1.     Study 1.5 hours per day, but no more than 3 hours.  

2.     Exercise and take care of yourself.

3.     Everything in moderation (sleep, food, TV).

4.     Live with a few people and DO NOT isolate yourself.

5.     Time is never wasted in community with other people.

6.     You’re never going to know everyone, so don’t try.

7.     Understand friendships take time to build.

8.     You’re never alone in your feelings.

9.     Don’t take yourself too seriously.

10. Busyness isn’t good or impressive.

11. Designate time to be in the word.

12. Go to church every Sunday.

13. Make time to pray – like in the car or walking to class.

14. You’re already a success in God’s eyes, you are allowed to fail and you will at some things.

15. Stop comparing.

16. Don’t feel like you have to do it all.

17. Practice being thankful.

Elena's Page of Thankfulness from Small Group

18. Everything you are sure of will probably change, so hold them loosely (friends, major, ect).

19. Don’t go home too much.

20. People do care, so let them in. Allow yourself to receive love from people.

21. Don’t have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Enjoy what God is doing where you are in the present moment.

22. Pray protection over your friendships. Confront and give grace. Have no expectations, but also great hope for spiritual friendships.  

23. There will be seasons. Believe in the hard seasons that God is good. Your circumstances will change and you will be ok.

24. Don’t assume people view you the way you view yourself, especially in the times you feel least like yourself.

25. Don’t worry how you will handle things in the future. God will give you the strength at that time.

26. Challenge people and open yourself up to be challenged.

27. Be quick to apologize without excuses.

28. Rest more – not just sleep, but rest spiritually by getting alone with God.

Chillin at the lake at the busiest time of the semester. Boom.

29. Think how to bless your family, not just how they can bless you.

30. When you try to please people, you’re not pleasing God. Remember, people were angry with Jesus all the time.

31. Tap into each other’s gifts and speak those gifts into people.

32. Speak lies you are believing aloud, and it will diminish their power in your life.

33. Don’t peg other people. Be open to friendships with people that are different than you.

Me & Casey. An unlikely friendship. JK Casey! ;)

That’s it. You don’t need to know anything else in college! You don’t even need a degree! Don’t tell your parents I said that.

I Trust You

Yesterday my friend Leah and I spontaneously went to the outlet mall where I bought an embarrassingly large number of Nike shorts. Not the kind that all the college and trendy high school girls wear, but a much more mature Nike Dri Fit version...obviously. They are the perfect length and fit, so I stocked up. 

Leah has an adorable little boy, Henry, and another bun in the oven, so I asked her what has been the most surprising aspect of having children. She said, 


"Everyone told me I would love my kid. But, I don't just love him, I continue to love him more and more than the day before." 


I didn't tell her right then, (I prefer to say encouraging things over the internet rather than in person.) but it captivated me. God has entrusted Leah with this precious life, and she is being faithful in a thousand tiny ways. 

Jesus said, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." (Luke 12:48) 

Those of us who God has given gifts are held to a higher standard. Which is everyone! He gives us something precious. He gives us a role, a part to play. 

I imagine it this way... 

I walk up to a king's throne and he hands me a small bag of gold coins. He leans in close to my face and whispers, "Be wise and faithful with these." He owns the coins, but he is allowing me to manage them for him. He is investing in me. Months later I return to the king and have started a business with the gold coins and now have two bags. I hold up the bags, excited to show the king. "Well done!" The king exclaims. "You have been good and faithful with the few coins I have given you; I will set you over much." He reaches behind his throne, grabs a golden treasure box, and hands it to me. I open the box. Inside are rubies, diamonds, gold, silver...there is such a large amount and variety of treasures in the box it's hard for me to take them all in at once. Now he has trusted me with much more. I have a greater responsibility but with greater potential rewards!  

This story is based on Jesus' words in Matthew 25. The truly fantastic twist is that God, our king, entrusts us with even more priceless treasures than in this story. He gives us abilities, friendships, gifts, insights into scripture, direction, leadership roles, a spouse, a voice in someone's life, the Spirit bringing someone to mind who needs us. The treasures are vast and unique to each of us. 

But, we must be faithful. 

We must utilize the abilities. 
Love the friends. 
Appreciate the gifts. 
Let the insights and revelations of scripture soak down into the deepest parts of us. 
Walk in the direction he is pointing. 
Lead with integrity and courage. 
Be patient with our spouse. 
Speak truth into someone's life. 
Call the person who comes to mind. 


And he promises that if we are faithful in the little things, he will give us even bigger things. Exciting! 

Here are a few things I know God has entrusted me with: 

Can you guess what they are?

What about you? What are some things you know he has entrusted you with? 

P.S. God has not entrusted me with that donkey. 

How to be Productive

One of my dearest friends, Melissa, sent me the most encouraging email, so I got her the Starbucks above. I recently told her how guilty I’ve been feeling about my lack of productivity. I’ve been sick with some strange health issues for about 6 months now, and in the last couple of weeks I’ve been sick twice. Being sick so often is really challenging my neurotic nature to do EVERYTHING and constantly be making over my life.  My looks, my friendships, my style, my spirituality, my marriage, my intellect…somehow I’ve convinced myself that I need a complete overhaul…everyday. But, anyway, Melissa’s email simply had this verse:

“It is no use for you to get up early and stay up late working for a living. The Lord gives sleep to those He loves.” –Psalm 127:2

Can that be my life motto??

So, I went to look it up, and it also says this:

Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guard stands watch in vain. It is no use for you to get up early and stay up late working for a living. The Lord gives sleep to those He loves.” –Psalm 127:1-2

And there’s the heart of the issue. Unless.

Unless the Lord gives wisdom, the student studies in vain.

Unless the Lord provides, the bank account does not grow.

Unless the Lord moves, peoples’ lives are not changed.

Unless the Lord does the work, there’s no point. So, don’t work your life away.

It seems that the psalmist is saying that the most “productive” someone can be is by turning to the Lord and asking him to do it.  So, it’s ok that I have to lay here on the couch and get better. He’s the one doing the work anyway. 

Friendship and Ugly Crying

“Good friendships are like breakfast. You think you’re too busy to eat breakfast, but then you find yourself exhausted and cranky halfway through the day, and discover that your attempt to save time totally backfired.”

-Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist

I have the greatest friends. Seriously.

But, that hasn’t always been the case. In fact, I remember a very distinct moment on my birthday only a few years ago when I looked at Micah and pathetically cried, “I have no friends!” And it wasn’t a graceful crying. It was the kind where your face gets really red and you look hideous. Girls, you know what I’m talking about. We were newly married, and Micah was dumbfounded.

I also remember many frighteningly similar moments my freshmen year of college. Sitting in my dorm room at the University of Texas crying because I was hundreds of miles away from my closest friends from high school. And I was utterly, totally convinced I would never have another meaningful friendship.  I would throw myself down on Jenny (my roommate and only friend) and my futon bunk bed and cry ever so dramatically. Pretty much a weekly occurrence. Okay, daily.

And here’s the truth. Here’s the hard, scratchy, uncomfortable truth. Friendships are work. They take time, patience, forgiveness, understanding, listening. Everything that within ourselves we just don’t feel like doing. And making friends is even more work. Because you have to go through many stages before you can get to the ‘we spontaneously hang out without an appointment stage’. But, if we choose not to work, choose not to grow, choose not to be vulnerable, then one day, you wake up and you’re ugly crying because you have no friends.

Proverbs 27:9 says this:

“Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”

I just got back from a Young Life training in Georgia, and we were in class all day everyday for a week. The room we were in was set up classroom style, and my whole row was full of guys I work alongside. One day, we were all getting a little stir crazy. I reached in my bag and pulled out this lotion that legitimately smells like the Caribbean. I started rubbing it on my hands, and something hilarious happened. Slowly each guy in our row got a whiff of this lotion until they were all staring at me. Pretty soon we were passing it down and our whole row smelled like coconut and the ocean. It was magical.

I think that’s what Proverbs is saying about friendship.

That when we smell Caribbean lotion…

or we hear a great song that makes us want to dance….

or we taste hot apple pie and homemade vanilla ice cream…

or we see a sunset that we know our camera will never be able to capture.. .

or put our toes in fresh cut green grass…

We perk up. We take note of how great life is and how much we enjoy it. We celebrate.

And in just that same way, friendship refreshes our soul.

It’s like a little confetti explosion in our heart when we spend time with a close friend who gets who we are, where we came from, and where we want to go.

So, make time for the friends you have and press into those who aren’t quite there yet. They’ll be worth their weight in Caribbean lotion. 

Well I did it...We did it

It only took a life altering snow storm for me to do something I've been thinking about for awhile - starting a blog. I had lots of hesitations, but they mostly fell in the middle school insecurity category, so I'm going for it.  


I'm currently sitting in a hotel room in Atlanta with two friends - Teressa and Caitlin - who have become even dearer friends in the last 48 hours. The three of us all work for Young Life in different towns, and we came together with several hundred other staff for a training this week at Sharp Top Cove (a YL camp 90 miles outside of Atlanta). I love these girls. They laugh at my jokes, I laugh at theirs, they pray for me, and typically at these types of mass trainings I stick unashamedly close to them. I would consider myself an outgoing person on the normal range of humans, but gathering 300 extreme extroverts in one room totally overwhelms me. I age 50 years, and go to bed by 10PM, and read alot, and do not participate in the array of dance-party-type activities. 


But, I digress...


On Sunday the three of us realized a multiple-day blizzard was scheduled to arrive that night in Georgia, so we left early and went ahead to Atlanta to be close to the airport. When we arrived at our hotel we felt tired and hungry, but accomplished, especially since my mom snagged us a hotel way above our class level with her travel points. We threw our stuff in our room and decided to take a cab to the finest establishment downtown Atlanta offered - Chili's. And it was amazing. Micah always makes fun of me because I get obsessed with restaurants and then ruthlessly break up with them. Chili's and I had a rocky past, but Sunday night we reconciled over an Oldtimer burger and chili queso. At the dinner table, Caitlin and I bugged Teressa to tell us what she loves about her fiance Stephen, and then we talked about how thankful we are for our jobs and our lives. And for a moment I felt like life stopped and we really enjoyed each other. 


Then it started to snow. 


Just a little at first, and then in flakes so big they looked like those snowflakes you cut out of doilies in elementary school. In true Texan fashion, we marveled at it, took pictures in it, and then giggled like little girls as we ran to the Publix grocery store across the street to get provisions. 

You know we're excited when the thumb up comes out

We got in Publix and wandered around buying only the necessities: things like Nilla wafers and Fanta. It wasn't until we talked to our cab driver, Dewayne, who was stuck in the snow-induced traffic that we started to question our lollygagging. We sat on a bench in between the two automatic sliding doors and waited. Waited until every customer was gone. Waited until the lights went out. Waited. Minutes turned into hours as we called other cab companies with no luck. It looked like Dewayne was our last hope. (Actually, an 80 year old woman did offer us a ride, but she had minimum 6 people already in her SUV and she was....well....80.)


My now BFF, Dwayne, who I had called at least 27 times in the last hour assured me he was coming, but we still literally screamed and jumped for joy when his minivan cab pulled up. It took him 2 hours to drive 6 miles to get us. 


He then drove us another 2 hours/6 miles to our hotel in a snow storm so bad we saw hundreds of abandoned cars and an 18-wheeler slide off the road. Not only that, but he was patient, kind, and laughed when Teressa asked if he had snow chains for his tires. 


We swore Dwayne was an angel. 


After Jesus was led into the wilderness for 40 days, the Bible says that angels came and "attended to him". (you can read the whole story here) 


Also Hebrews 13:2 says: "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it." 


That just blows my mind. That angels are real. And not just real but involved. I don't know alot about angels, but I'm pretty sure they don't look like this. And whether Dwayne was an angel or not, he ministered to us in the best way anyone could have possibly ministered to us in that moment: he got us home. Or at least to the Westin. 


Goodnight from snowy Atlanta.

flying home with bride-to-be, Teressa...finally