My Absolute Favorite Verse (Honest)

Isaiah 49:14-16

I’m one of those people that throws around the word favorite a lot.

“She’s my favorite person.” “That’s my favorite restaurant.” Blah. Blah.

But, honestly, this is my absolute favorite verse(s). And it has been for a while.

It just SPEAKS to me. Like if I sat here and thought about it long enough I could definitely start crying. Easily.

If I were asked to read these verses to a group of people, forget it. They would all be really uncomfortable because there is a 100% chance I would be crying.

So, here’s why. Let me break it down why these verses have this effect on me.

First, it starts out…

“The Lord has forsaken me, 
the Lord has forgotten me.”

Maybe I’m a drama queen, but I feel this fairly regularly. Not so much “forsaken” as in He’s turned His back on me. But, maybe that language is just a little strong for me. FORSAKEN is kind of harsh.

But, forgotten? Yes. I sometimes think He’s forgotten me.

Or just given up on me altogether.

I feel like a 5-year-old little girl saying, “Do you remember me, God?”

So that first verse is my line: “God, I think you’ve forgotten about me, and maybe given up on me altogether.”

Then God says: “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
 and have no compassion on the child she has borne?”

And this is such a great line because he’s leading me somewhere.

He’s saying, “Could a loving mother forget a baby that she birthed and nourished?”

“Could a mother possibly have no compassion and love for a child that is her very own flesh?”

And you think, well this is obviously a rhetorical question. No way could she forget! What heartless woman would do that? Forget her child? Impossible!

And then the curveball:

 Though she may forget,

In other words, maybe so. She really might forget you. Mothers abandon their children all the time. People in general, not just mothers, let us down. They break our hearts. They turn their backs on us. They make mistakes.

But, God says:

“Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

He will never forget me. He will never let go of me. He will never leave me.

He has not given up on me.

And he will never forget you either, dear child.

He’s always been there, right by your side.

And He has the scars to prove it. 

33 Things Every Christian College Freshman Should Know

This is my 4^th year working in college ministry. Therefore, I know everything. Just kidding. Therefore, this is the first time I have walked all the way through college with a class of girls.  

Every week for the last 4 years, we have sat on UT campus, or in my living room, studying scripture and sharing life together.

I have washed 39,485 water cups. We have eaten our weight in Nutella and hummus.

Average number of cups used after Small Group. Notice our fine china. 

We have cried a lot. Truthfully, tears is the 17^th member of our small group. And tears usually comes in waterfall formation – one girl starts to cry and then we all cry. Most of the time after we cry we get really silly. Like stupid silly. Like ‘I hope no one is recording us right now’ silly.  Then I usually say something inappropriate and they love it.

These women have blessed me more than I have blessed them.

Watching them graduate in May was much harder than I expected. I was a wreck. Crying at all the “lasts”. The last small group was brutal. But, I have to believe what I told them: “This is just the end of the beginning of knowing each other forever.”

A few small groups before the brutal emotional last small group, I asked them what advice they would give to an incoming college freshmen. In other words, if they could rewind the clock and talk to their terrified freshman self, what would they say? Words and thoughts immediately swirled around the room, and I could barely keep my pen writing fast enough.

Reading over their list, I see the footprints of wise women who have had many victories and failures these last 4 years. Women that will make incredible wives and mothers. Women I am proud to call my friends.

Some things they learned in our small group, but most just from living and walking with the Lord.

The funny thing is that almost all their advice applies to my life, my mother’s life, and every woman’s life. I love that about God. He is teaching us the same truths over and over and driving them deeper into our stubborn souls.

So here it is…I picked a nice round number…

33 Things Every Christian College Freshman Should Know:

1.     Study 1.5 hours per day, but no more than 3 hours.  

2.     Exercise and take care of yourself.

3.     Everything in moderation (sleep, food, TV).

4.     Live with a few people and DO NOT isolate yourself.

5.     Time is never wasted in community with other people.

6.     You’re never going to know everyone, so don’t try.

7.     Understand friendships take time to build.

8.     You’re never alone in your feelings.

9.     Don’t take yourself too seriously.

10. Busyness isn’t good or impressive.

11. Designate time to be in the word.

12. Go to church every Sunday.

13. Make time to pray – like in the car or walking to class.

14. You’re already a success in God’s eyes, you are allowed to fail and you will at some things.

15. Stop comparing.

16. Don’t feel like you have to do it all.

17. Practice being thankful.

Elena's Page of Thankfulness from Small Group

18. Everything you are sure of will probably change, so hold them loosely (friends, major, ect).

19. Don’t go home too much.

20. People do care, so let them in. Allow yourself to receive love from people.

21. Don’t have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Enjoy what God is doing where you are in the present moment.

22. Pray protection over your friendships. Confront and give grace. Have no expectations, but also great hope for spiritual friendships.  

23. There will be seasons. Believe in the hard seasons that God is good. Your circumstances will change and you will be ok.

24. Don’t assume people view you the way you view yourself, especially in the times you feel least like yourself.

25. Don’t worry how you will handle things in the future. God will give you the strength at that time.

26. Challenge people and open yourself up to be challenged.

27. Be quick to apologize without excuses.

28. Rest more – not just sleep, but rest spiritually by getting alone with God.

Chillin at the lake at the busiest time of the semester. Boom.

29. Think how to bless your family, not just how they can bless you.

30. When you try to please people, you’re not pleasing God. Remember, people were angry with Jesus all the time.

31. Tap into each other’s gifts and speak those gifts into people.

32. Speak lies you are believing aloud, and it will diminish their power in your life.

33. Don’t peg other people. Be open to friendships with people that are different than you.

Me & Casey. An unlikely friendship. JK Casey! ;)

That’s it. You don’t need to know anything else in college! You don’t even need a degree! Don’t tell your parents I said that.

If I Can Just _____ Then I'll Be Happy.

This is a good moment.

I’m currently sitting on the carpet in our living room with the coffee table pulled up close so I can type. My husband is playing a variety of songs on his guitar across from me. Mostly country classics, but some original songs he wrote. My absolute favorite candle is burning. (Although it is a little like I’m burning money because it cost $18.) I’m eating chocolate covered raisins, a personal fav. Also, I’m staring at some gorgeous garden roses my friend Sarah gave me when she asked me to be her Maid of Honor this morning. Technically she asked me to be her Matron of Honor, but I told her if she ever called me that again I’d kill her. What am I, 80?

So, like I said this is a good moment.

I’m trying to soak it in because I haven’t been doing much soaking lately.

One of the biggest lies that I believe is that if I can just __________________ then I’ll be happy. 

I tell this to the college girls I mentor all the time. For them it’s: “If I can just get to Christmas break, Spring Break, Summer, past this test, then I’ll be happy. That’s where rest, fulfillment and all my dreams for life will come true!”

For me it’s more: “If I can just buy a house, have more free time, make more money, master this certain aspect of my marriage, get these to-do’s crossed off, then I’ll be happy.”

For many of my friends it’s: “If I can just find a husband, have a baby, have another baby, get my dream job, or progress into this next stage of life, then I’ll be happy.”

And so we all push through.

Instead of stopping and enjoying the present moment that God has given us, we push through with the hopes of tomorrow. But, tomorrow was not made to hold the weight of all those hopes and dreams. Tomorrow just is what it is.

So, when we…

    get the vacation

           buy the house

                find the husband

                              land the job

                                    cross off a few to-do’s

                                                            ace the test

                                                                    make a few extra dollars

                                                                                   we’re left unsatisfied.

                                                                                                                          
And maybe a little angry.

We’re mad at Tomorrow. Livid even. “But, you promised, tomorrow! You promised that this was the thing, this was the finish line and that happiness was on the other side!”

The truth is all these things are great. They are strawberries and whip cream on the sponge cake of life. They are beautiful gifts. But, they are not where true fulfillment and joy is found. So, we can’t expect something from them that they were never created to deliver.

Then where do we turn?

Jesus said this about himself:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

And David found his satisfaction in the One who created it:

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. (Psalm 63:2-5)

Lord, I will try to go to you and receive your love that is better then life. I will try to stop  placing expectations on future goals, possessions, and relationships to fulfill me. Amen. 

Things I Hate: Running & Re-Learning

“Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith.” – 1 Timothy 6:11-12

I hate re-learning things. You know when you have those “aha!” moments when you realize something new? Some little gem of wisdom about life or about yourself. You realize this new revelation changes everything, and you think, “I’ll never go back to the way I was!” You walk about life scoffing at those who don’t know what you know. How could they be so foolish? You decide that you should probably educate them on your new found wisdom.

Then time passes…

And you find yourself returning to your old ways and forgetting the revelation.

I hate that.

It reminds me of running. Maybe because I also hate running. There has never been a time when I was running that I wasn’t wondering when I would get to stop running. But, many moons ago, I trained for a 10K (that’s right I said a 10K, not a marathon or a half marathon, just 6.2 miles). It took me 6 months to train (ha!), and when I  finished the race I felt fantastic. In my mind I was basically the Lance Armstrong of running. So, I lived off that arrogance for a couple of months and then I decided to go for a run. I barely made it a half mile. I had lost it.

That’s how I feel spiritually sometimes. I like progress, advancement, growth, accomplishment. But, in those moments of re-learning, I start to believe that I haven’t moved even one step.   

Not true.

God is taking us each someplace. A very individual, very personalized path that he has plowed. And when I look at where I was 5 years ago, I am stunned by how far he has brought me.

So, fight the good fight. Don’t be discouraged. If you are turning your heart to His, then He is growing you, changing you, advancing you. His economy, his progress, his advancement is just measured differently than ours.

Perfectly.

P.S. Over the next few posts I’m going to list a few things God makes me re-learn over and over…besides how to run. What have you re-learned? I would love to hear! 

No Shortcuts

I don’t know a ton about God. In fact, the more I learn about Him the bigger He seems to become. I like it that way though. I don’t want to serve a God who is small and fits in my little ideas and assumptions about Him.

One false idea I’ve often believed about God and the Holy Spirit living inside of me is that there are shortcuts. If I can just master these 3, 5, 10 things, then I’ll find healing, joy, fulfillment, forgiveness, life, friendship…it never works. I usually get 15 minutes into the first thing I’m trying to master and decide I’d rather watch a Law & Order marathon or something. For example, I’ve tried to read the Bible on a 1 year reading plan at least 3 times. And when I start I usually think, “Psshh I can totally do this. In fact, I could probably read this in 6 months. Biblical genius here I come!”

FAIL. Genesis is long, people. I’m not disciplined enough for shortcuts.

But, on the other hand, I have friends who are much more disciplined than I am, and even when they complete the shortcut sometimes they don’t feel God’s presence at all. I think one reason that happens is because God doesn’t always work in formulas. He doesn’t just swoop in on a cloud once our little imaginary boxes are checked. He wants to be involved in the process. He wants us to get our hands dirty. He doesn’t want me to just memorize a verse. He wants it to sink down into the deepest parts of me and set up camp. And the funny thing is that most of the time “getting my hands dirty” looks a lot like opening them up and releasing the grip of what I’m holding onto.  It looks like me not putting totally unrealistic expectations on myself. 


He just wants us to wake up and say, “I trust you today, Lord.” It sounds so simple, but what I usually wake up and say is: “I trust you today, Lord. But, I’m going to need some details…preferably before I get out of bed.”

Instead of short cuts, He wants to take the long way with us – the scenic route.

And He just keeps asking me to take one more step of faith…

”that was great, Ashley. Can you do it again?”

one more step…

”wow! I’m so proud of you. Would you be willing to take another?”

one more step…

And on and on it goes. And pretty soon I look back and I’ve walked a mile with the Lord. And it was way better than the shortcut.