I have a terrible habit. Yes, I bite my fingernails, but that’s not it. In fact, I have many bad habits, but this one is currently my least favorite about myself.
I say, “I’m sorry” too much.
Especially with new people. People I want to like me.
“I’m sorry, I stepped in front of the TV and blocked your view.”
“I’m sorry, I’m talking too much.”
“I’m sorry, you have to drive me home.”
Ugh.
Now that I’ve recognized it in myself I catch myself doing it all the time. It drives me nuts! And I notice other women doing it too. All. The. Time. I’ve started imagining funny things to say when I catch people doing it…
“I’m sorry, I took a sip of your drink while you were in the bathroom.”
“How could you do this to me??”
OR
“I’m sorry, I don’t have makeup on.”
“I forgive you. But, only because Jesus asks me to.”
It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? And often the words, “I’m sorry” should be replaced with other better words. Like “Excuse me” or “Thank you” or something else entirely…
(bumping into someone) “Excuse me”
(forgetting my wallet at home) “Thank you, friend, for paying for my coffee”
Thank you is such a more fitting phrase. But, it’s harder to say, isn’t it? Thank you. I appreciate you. I couldn’t have had this delicious coffee without your help. I couldn’t have gotten home if you didn’t drive me. No apologizes, just gratitude.
The worst part about this whole thing is that I’m TERRIBLE at apologizing. When I actually do something awful –like watch Modern Family on our DVR without Micah in a moment of weakness – it’s so hard for me to apologize. I make excuses. I blame people. I distract with dancing and jokes. Anything to not apologize.
Why is it so easy to say, “I’m sorry” in the little things, and so hard to really apologize in the moments that matter?
So, I’m challenging myself to start saying the hard/good/right thing more often.
I’m sorry I hurt your feelings…
It was my fault, I’m sorry….
I’m sorry I was selfish…
And to stop with the weird, insecure, empty sorry’s.
YES! ! I'm so glad that you wrote about this. I'm very guilty of this, but I'm not Sorry about it, just want to do something about it.
ReplyDeleteI thought i was the only one with this problem! I have been trying to figure out my reasoning for saying "I'm sorry" all the time, and the only thing I have come up with is a little word from the Father: "Find your security in ME, not in how others view you." How are you doing with this habit, five months from when you posted?
ReplyDeleteHey Syd! I'm doing much better with this, mostly because I notice it so much more in myself.
ReplyDelete